Happy For Once
I'm starting to feel like all of my self-hate is caused by me caring too much about what people think of me. People have told me this in the past, and they're right. Sort-of. There are some things I really care about as part of my affirmation, but I dont want to be gross. That said, I care if I pass. I care whether or not I've been accepted as a girl, and I don't want to be mistaken for some sort of a drag queen or drag enthusiast; I honestly think the whole thing is gross and a detriment to trans acceptance overall. Beyond that, I'm honestly just happy that I pass for the most part. It drives me insane to know I'll never totally be female; I will always have a male upbringing, I will always be scarred with dysphoria and rejection, and I'll never be able to carry a child without an excessive risk of complications, but the little things really do count when it comes to progress. I think this is the first time in a while that I've been able to be h...